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The History of Tottaus by *Kordi:iconKordi:

Categories Fan Art > Fan Fiction

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©2009 *Kordi
:iconkordi:

Author's Comments

Drabble for *straw-hat-luffette from a gift-thing meme I snagged on LiveJournal. :3 Radiata Stories fanfiction whoo~ I'm torn on Genius's use of "animosity." I think it's too big of a word for a boy that age. Buuut he is a genius, and he's probably paraphrasing the volume, too.

Not sure I should be looking for crits on this, but what the heck? xD If you know the characters, feel free to crit the characterization. I love nitpicks. I might whine if you're too harsh, but I'll love you anyway. :3

Lucian, Genius, Radiata Stories (c) Square Enix and TriAce.

Critiques


:iconhteadmai:
*HteadMai Jun 1, 2009, 1:22:22 PM
Your sense of motion is very well done in this piece. The action, although minimum, flows very nicely. I don't know the characters, but just from their respective intros I get a recognizable definition of them. You use very a very simple way of writing but it works perfectly from what context I can tell. I particularly like the spacing you've chosen, the paragraphing reads very quickly. Every bit of your writing that I've seen has read incredibly smoothly, I have yet to find any type-up mistakes. And I am often flat out awed by your style, you really draw me into the characters. Makes me want to play through all the games!
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3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.
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:iconstarluver:
*starluver Jun 3, 2009, 11:35:50 AM
Goodness, it's already been critiqued X3 I really do love this piece!! Your writing pwns mine, seriously!! :hug:

--
"Evil is a point of view."

-Lestat de Lioncourt
:iconkordi:
*Kordi Jun 3, 2009, 1:39:04 PM
xD Yep, it has~ Thank you very much. :hug: I think your writing has qualities that mine lacks, particularly around the character development and plot progression of longer works. It's informative to observe those qualities. >w<

--
Life is riddled with answers. To find what you seek, you must choose your questions carefully.
:iconstarluver:
*starluver Jun 3, 2009, 5:52:28 PM
Welcome ~,^ I think the same about your writing. You're much better at manipulating dialogue than me, and you're a lot more straightforward. I think that you're better at getting the point across. :glomp: And yes indeed, it is. =3

--
"Evil is a point of view."

-Lestat de Lioncourt
:iconkordi:
*Kordi Jun 3, 2009, 5:57:00 PM
Hurhur, i r manipulative. 83 So then... If we were ever to collaborate on a story, we would have something epic on our hands. xD Wahaha~
:manhug:

--
Life is riddled with answers. To find what you seek, you must choose your questions carefully.
:iconstarluver:
*starluver Jun 3, 2009, 5:59:16 PM
Lol, I didn't think of it that way. XD Oh, we should. That would result in major awesomeness!!
:hug:

--
"Evil is a point of view."

-Lestat de Lioncourt
:iconkordi:
*Kordi Jun 3, 2009, 6:01:08 PM
I know, but it's an entertaining thought. xD Hm. *strokes chin* I wonder what kind of something we could write... 83

--
Life is riddled with answers. To find what you seek, you must choose your questions carefully.
:iconstarluver:
*starluver Jun 3, 2009, 6:07:27 PM
Hmmmmm...this reeks of epic possibility. >3 Fantasy? Romance? Macrabe? I like just about anything. =3 We would have to start by coming up with characters...

--
"Evil is a point of view."

-Lestat de Lioncourt
:iconkordi:
*Kordi Jun 3, 2009, 6:15:51 PM
It does, doesn't it? |3 Fantasy is a favorite, but I like romance and macabre, too. I love action/adventure stuff. Hm. If characters should really come first, we can each make one or two and roleplay them a little to get plot ideas. What say you to that~? 83

--
Life is riddled with answers. To find what you seek, you must choose your questions carefully.
:iconstarluver:
*starluver Jun 3, 2009, 6:18:27 PM
Yup~! Sounds good to me!! What do you think? Should we be aiming for supernatural characters (vampires, elves, deities...erm..ghosts) or natural characters (humans)??

--
"Evil is a point of view."

-Lestat de Lioncourt
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